


I Will Always Love You

by Mariekoukie666



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/M, Fluff, Mention of sex, Sex, sfw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-26 17:13:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16685737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mariekoukie666/pseuds/Mariekoukie666
Summary: He was the love of your life. You were his. Everything was perfect.





	I Will Always Love You

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for a writting challenge on tumblr.

 

You met the Winchester brothers a few years ago. The first time you met them, they were posing as FBI agents. You and Dean hit it off right away. The two of you flirted every time you saw each other. And you saw Dean  _ a lot _ over the few days he and his brother were in town. You worked as an assistant in that town’s library and the brothers were more than happy to get some help searching for books. Of course, you thought it was weird that they were asking a lot of questions about the town’s most recent murder and everything related that happened a few years back. But every time, Dean was flirting with you. More often than not, you put all your questions about their business in town at the back of your mind. Flirting led to a touch here and there which led to kissing and heavy petting at the back of the library when no one was looking.

Everything was fine, until a few days later. You were closing the library for the night when you were attacked by a stack of flying books. Well, they weren’t really flying, more like… someone was throwing them at you. You were new in town and you were already regretting moving there. Luckily for you, the brothers came barging through the doors and saved you from a certain death. After getting out of the building, the brothers explained everything to you. From every monster in the book to what they were currently doing: hunting monsters. It was quite a shock at first, but you accepted it. After all, a flock of books had been trying to kill you just minutes ago.

Sam took care of the ghost while Dean searched for anything they might have missed. When it was clear that Dean was itching to go help his brother, you took over the research and told him to go. They did just save your life, it was the least you could do, to help them save other people's lives.   

The next morning, you gave your resignation and decided to go back home in Lebanon, Texas. According to your mother, there was a vacancy at the local library. Since you didn’t have a ride, you asked the two handsome men who saved your life for a ride. You offered them gas money when they told you that you could come with them.

On the way, you talked about how you ended up in a small town such as the one you were leaving when you were born and raised in Texas. Sam and Dean explained how they ended up in the Hunter’s life. You took a nap in the back seat, while the brothers bickered about the music Dean chose for this trip. 

You kept in contact with the brothers. Dean always flirted with you and Sam would always ask you for help with research because his brother didn’t want to help. It was a few months after they had drop you at your mother’s house that Dean came back. He was as handsome as ever. 

He asked you out on a date, flowers in hand. You agreed and set up a place and time. From that moment on, the two of you were an item. You couldn’t get him out of your head. He made you dizzy with his kisses and touches, making you swoon with the way he loved you. He came to see you when he could. He would always text you before going to bed and first thing in the morning when he could. 

Of course, the honeymoon phase didn’t last: you had your first fight during one of his visits. You told him that you liked it when he came to visit and wished he’d come more often. Sometimes, when Dean came to visit, Sam would come too and the three of you would hang out together. Sam became your best friend, you loved him as much as you loved his brother. It was two different kind of love but you loved them both still. You knew he was doing his best but sometimes you wished for more. It was a year later that they found the bunker. Dean asked you to move in with Sam and him after they were all settled down. You weren’t quite sure at first, with the line of work they were in. You didn’t want to be stuck in the middle of something dangerous. You eventually said yes. After a visit, Dean showed you the nearby library and everything that needed to be sorted into some kind of order that the boys would know. To be quite honest, the library is what sold you on the idea of moving in. 

Over the next year, you learned more about the work they did, the danger they were always in, and the scars that came with the job. You took a small online course on medicine to be able to help them when they came back bloody and hurt. Dean taught you how to defend yourself and how to use a gun. Dean tried his best not to tell you about everything that happened. Sometimes, you could hear the brothers arguing about you. Sam wanted to tell you everything while Dean wanted to protect you from the ugliness of the world. You weren’t a hunter and you thanked God every day for that; you didn’t have the cardio. 

You had been dating for two and a half years when Sam came back with Dean’s body lifeless in his arms. He told you everything: about the Mark of Cain, about Angels and Demons, and everything in between. He told you everything while you were weeping because the love of your life was dead. Well, at least that's what you thought. 

Sam went to take care of some business and you decided to go see Dean one last time. You laid next to him, your head on his chest, and kept sobbing. You eventually fell asleep like that. You dreamt of Dean coming back. Of him kissing you and telling you that everything was going to be okay, that he loves you. When you woke up, Dean was gone. His body wasn’t on the bed and there was only a note. You screamed Sam’s name. You were panicking and didn’t know what to do. When he came running, he saw you panicking and crying. That was the first thing he noticed, the second one was his brother’s missing corpse. Sam told you to stay in the bunker. He didn’t want you to be caught up in whatever his brother was mixed in. You were afraid to go out. You took some weeks off from work. It was over those few months that Dean was missing that you learned a few tricks yourself. You learned a few spells to defend yourself. 

When Sam brought Dean back, you would have wept with joy. Of course, when he looked at you with those pitch black eyes and smirked… the unholy thought that crossed your mind… well, let’s just say that your panties were ruined for the day. 

Somehow, he broke free of the devil’s trap Sam had put him in. He found you in the library, taking you by surprise. His big hand covered your mouth, not letting you scream for his brother. The hand that wasn’t covering your mouth traveled south. Towards your already soaked panties.

You knew you should fight him or do something but you didn't have it in you. It was Dean! Even if he was different, even if he was colder than you remembered, he was still your Dean. 

When his finger brushed your soaking panties, you moaned. It had been months since you’d had any real action, months since you and Dean had any kind of sex and you missed it. Before you had any idea what was happening, he bent you over the table, your clothes out of the way. He fingered you, opening you up, preparing you for his thick cock. Once he thought you were ready, he was inside you swiftly, filling you up and groaning your name. You didn’t last long, your first orgasm took you both by surprise. Maybe it was the situation or maybe it was because you really missed him but it came fast and it took your breath away. He just kept on fucking you until he was spent. By the time he was done, you were almost asleep. He set you down on one of the tables, covering you with his shirt and leaving you to sleep. 

To this day, you still weren’t sure what happened. All the brothers told you was that everything was fine. Of course, you didn’t believe them and you just stared at them before giving up. 

Eventually, Dean told you that the Mark of Cain urged him to kill more and more. You were in the library, researching for a case Sam caught, when Dean sat down next to you. He told you how he was afraid of hurting you and afraid of people trying to hurt him by hurting you. He didn’t want to talk about what happened while he was a demon and you abided by his wish… for now. Dean asked you to pack a bag and to go underground until the mark was gone. You laughed in his face, telling him that you would do no such things.

“I just got you back. You think I’m going to go hide somewhere just because you’re afraid of the bad guys? I don’t want to hide, Dean. I’m tired of always feeling helpless and not being able to help. I love you and loving you includes patching you up and helping you get back on your feet. I’m never going to be a hunter and I don’t want to. I just want to help. I can defend myself. I learned a few spells and a few tricks while you were… away. Let me help you. You won’t lose me, I swear.” 

He took his time before answering, looking you in the eyes. 

“Okay… but at the first sign of trouble, you’re going. I don’t want you to get hurt. I don’t want to lose you. I love you. I am NOT losing you because of my mistakes.”

“I love you too. Now, how about we go to bed and I show you exactly how I love you?”

You started for the door, running and squealing when Dean chased after you, heading for the bedroom. That night, Dean loved you like the world was ending, like it was the last time he would be touching you. He mapped your body with his lips, his tongue, and fingers. He dragged out each orgasm from you, taking his time, torturing you with the slow pace he set.

Later, you fell asleep, your head on his chest, completely in love with him. You didn’t hear him tell you that one day he was going to marry you, that one day if he was lucky, he would quit this life and settle down with you. Even though he knew it was a lie, even though he knew that he could never quit this life. Even though he knew that the mark would push and push until nothing was left.

There was nothing he wouldn’t do to make sure you were safe and happy. Even if it meant you hating him for the choice he was about to make. 

The next time you woke up, you would be far away from the action and out of harm way. He couldn’t bear to lose you; you were the brightest light in his life and he would do everything in his power to keep it so. 

When you woke up, you weren’t in your bed at the bunker. You were at one of Bobby's old cabins and Dean was nowhere in sight. You’d expected it but not so soon after your talk. You sighed in annoyance. It was just like him to let you believe something and do something else. The next time you saw him, you planned to scream at him. 

It took a few weeks before you ran out of food and had to call Sam for supplies. Dean wasn’t taking any chances and wouldn’t talk to you at the moment. He was afraid of your reaction. You weren’t angry… well, not anymore. You just wanted to talk to him and kiss him. You ranted to Sam on the phone, telling him just how much you missed his brother and just how much you wanted to know if he was safe a. 

“Listen Y/N, I’ll do my best to trick him into coming to see you… just… don’t kill him, okay? I do agree that what he did was stupid but he did have the best intentions. He’s head over heels when it comes to you. I’ve never seen him like this and I’ve known him my entire life. I guess what I’m saying is… be careful with him.”

It touched you to know how much Sam and Dean cared for each other even if they, sometimes, didn’t want to admit it.

“Don’t worry, Sam. I’ll always take care of Dean even if he doesn’t want me too. When this is all over, we’ll have a big long talk but right now, I just need to know that he’s okay.”

You knew that Dean was doing his best to do what, he believed, was right. You also knew that whatever was going to happen, you wouldn’t give up on the best relationship you’ve ever had.

When Dean came over with the groceries, you jumped into his arms, not caring about the bags in his hands. 

You spent the next few hours in his arms. You didn’t care about the outside world. As long as you were with Dean, everything would be okay. When he got up to get dressed and leave, you told him to come back to you, alive. 

“When you come back to me, alive, we’ll talk. Until then, come back to me or I swear to you, Dean Winchester, I’m gonna resurrect you only to kill you myself. Are we clear?” 

“Yes, ma’am. I’ll come back to you alive and whole… just… there’s just one condition…since you’re talking to me and everything. I’d like to come back to you not as your boyfriend but as your fiancé.” 

“If this is you proposing, try again and add a little romance in it.”

The smirk he threw you told you that, what he was attempting to do was thought out, not something he just suddenly came up with. 

“Okay…here goes nothing”  

He went down on one knee and fished something out of his pocket. Your eyes went wide at the sight of the ring in his hands. 

“Y/N, the instant we met, I felt this instant connection between the two of us. I’ve been in love with you ever since we finished that case where I met you. I’ve been in love before, you know that, at least that’s what I thought… until I met you. You, you make me want to be a better man. Every day with you is the greatest day of my life. Y/N, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?” 

You could feel the tears in your eyes. You were always happy to be with him. You figured that marriage hadn’t been in his plans and you were okay with it. Marriage has always been a part of your plans. You made peace with the fact that it was never going to happen when you started being serious with Dean. But now… now you were overwhelmed and the only thing you could do was nod. 

It was a bit of a rushed celebration since Dean really had to go back to Sam but at least you knew where you stood with him. At least you knew that he would come back to you. That was a start. Dean told you that he wasn’t sure when he would be able to get back but that he left you a car in case of an emergency and a credit card.

After a few weeks, instead of staying inside and going crazy, you took a little trip to New York. You knew Dean wouldn’t check on you unless you tell him that something was wrong. So, you went dress shopping and decided that you didn’t want to get married in a church.The idea of a beach wedding sounded fantastic. You knew Dean wouldn’t care about the details. He would absolutely love to feel the sand between his toes and the sun on his face with no worries, to feel the water licking at his feet. You would invite very few people: Charlie and Sam, of course and maybe a few other people…

You knew that it wouldn’t be a big wedding but at least the most important people would be there. 

A few months later, you were back at the cabin, bored out of your mind and wondering what you were supposed to do. Luckily for you, the boys barged in the cabin, arguing over something or other. You got up to say hi and kiss your fiancé but something felt wrong with Dean. He looked at you with guilty eyes and avoided eye contact as much as possible. 

Sam shifted on his feet, feeling awkward with the tension in the air. You looked from one brother to another and there was this wave of anxiety that came from them. 

“Can someone tell me what the fuck is going on? I’m starting to think that someone died.” 

Dean looked at you and you could swear that guilt was radiating off of him.

“Okay… what the fuck did the two of you did? And why do you look so guilty? Dean? Please explain to me?”

Sam decided that NOW was a good time to get as far away from you as possible…which somehow made the situation feel worse…

“Are you not going to talk to me at all, Dean?”

He hesitated, unsure of what to do exactly. He settled for sitting on the couch, taking your hands in his. He told you what happened the few months you were apart. Telling you the whole story without leaving any details out. He told you everything about Amara, the darkness, and what was in it for him and the connection. 

“So basically… you’re attracted to her...and she’s attracted to you because of the Mark of Cain?”

“Yes… It’s like… this feeling of peace or I don’t know… It’s weird and I might have kissed her… And y- you know how much I love you and how I wish I wasn’t be part of this fight but…”

You knew that asking him to step away from this life was impossible. Yet, you longed to ask him… to just breathe without being afraid of the monster of the week. This life he was living, it worried you. Every time he walked out of the door, you worried he wouldn’t be back. Ever since Dean died and came back as a demon, you had nightmares every time he was away. The last few months apart was hell. Sure, he was coming back to life most times than not but it still scared you every time. 

“But you are… and there’s nothing I can say or do that will make you change your mind. You’ll do what you do best, Dean. You save the world. I love you, Dean. I’ll do my best to support your decision even if I hate it. You don’t have the mark, so it’s a plus.” 

There was a silence where Dean searched for something to say.

“Let’s get married.” 

He looked up in surprise, not expecting such a thing to come out of your mouth. 

“What? Are you sure? I would understand if you-” 

“Shut up and get in the car. We’re going to Vegas. I’ll call Charlie from the car and you can tell Sam who’s probably hiding somewhere on the property and Cas! I’m sure that he would love to be there even if the two of you aren’t talking right now. I even got my dress and your tux. I know that you would LOVE to get married on the beach.”      

He was looking at you, eyes wide and mouth open. It was a ridiculous look and you couldn’t help but laugh a bit.

“Come on! Let’s hit the road. I want to go get married and maybe hit the casinos… and you know… honeymoon in Vegas. Let’s just take a break from all the hunting and the search for God. Focus on us, on our relationship.” 

He nodded once and all the weight you’d been carrying evaporated. It was a small gesture that meant everything to you. You were putting on a brave face but deep down you were scared. Scared that whatever enemy the brothers had to face, it would be the end of everything you once knew. 

You had this feeling deep in your chest that something was terribly wrong and it wasn’t going away. You were afraid to tell Dean; he had enough on his plate already.

Dean took your hand in his and the both of you went in search of his brother. 

Two days later, you found yourself booking a room in one of the greatest places you’d ever seen. Dean decided that for your wedding you wouldn’t be staying in a motel. The three of you were staying at the  _ Planet Hollywood. _ Sam decided to get a room for Charlie and him, letting you and Dean have your own.

Dean had booked a small suite for your wedding night and you were more than happy to say yes to the idea. Once the bags were all in the room and Dean was snoring on the bed, you went downstairs to see about the wedding and greeted Charlie who texted you about being in the lobby. On your way down, you crossed paths with Sam who wanted to go to the beach and enjoy the sun while he could.

The two of you went to greet Charlie. Sam left her the key to their room and continued on his way to the beach. 

Once Charlie had put her bags in her room, the two of you went down to get a drink at the hotel bar before planning the wedding.

“How did he propose?”

You rolled your eyes at that question. Of course, she wanted to know.

“Well… you remember, I kind of went off for some kind of retreat or whatever Dean told you. Well, he decided that for my own good I should just stay away, hidden in one of Bobby's old cabins. Anyway… I was running low on supplies and called Sam to ask him about groceries and other things. Then, I asked him about Dean and he told me he would trick him into coming to see me. When he came by to see me… well, you know… a girl got to get laid sometimes…”

Charlie nodded and urged you to continue your story, 

“Oh yeah… I totally get your point and I have a story for another time… Do please continue before I start rambling.”  

“Where was I? Oh right! So, Dean and I talked a bit after that. I told him to come back to me or I’d resurrect him and kill him myself. You know how Dean is… sometimes he lacks a bit of romance. He told me that he’d like to come back to me as my fiancé. When I told him to add a bit of romance to it, he went down on one knee and just proposed with this gorgeous ring.” 

While you’d had your ring for a few months now, you still couldn’t believe that you were engaged and that Dean had managed such a surprise.

“I don’t- Charlie, I’ll be honest, this is so weird for me. To be engaged, I mean… Dean… I know he loves me and that was more than enough. We never talked about the whole white picket fence life. We never… talked about kids or anything about the future. We just took it day to day. I was more than happy to just go with it. He is the love of my life. That's a fact, I can’t imagine my life without him. Oh, God… I need another drink.”

You signaled a waiter for another glass of whatever Charlie was drinking plus another glass of wine for you. 

“So, let me guess this right, the both of you love each other and now you’re going to get married and live almost happily ever after?”

You snorted at Charlie, who was over-simplifying things. You kept on drinking until Dean, who had been looking for you, showed up at your table. He smiled at you and, even if you were drunk, he was still the most beautiful man you’d ever seen. You were constantly falling in love with him over and over again. There was always something new that you would discover after all those years together. Every fiber of your being belonged to him, every part of you loved him more and more each day. 

“I think that’s enough wine for you, sweetheart. Let’s put you to bed, I’m sure we got a long day tomorrow. I know how you can be when you’re hungover, babe. Charlie? You good to go to your room alone or do you need help?”

“I’m good, Dean. I didn’t drink as much as Y/N.”

With a nod, Dean picked you up bridal style. You fell asleep on his shoulder in a matter of seconds. Before he could walk through the hotel to your room, Charlie spoke up.

“Dean? You know she loves you right?”

Turning to look at her, Dean answered her.

“Yeah and?”

Charlie smiled sadly at him.

“Don’t break her heart okay? She loves you so much… I know this life is hard on every hunter, especially you and Sam but… you have a chance at happiness. Take it. Don’t be stupid. She’s everything and I know you’re scared just… Don’t screw up okay?”

“I won’t, Charlie… She… I need her like I need to breathe. I can’t imagine my life without her. I might not tell her everyday. I might not be good enough for her, but she chose me and I’ll forever be grateful for it.” 

After that, Charlie simply smiled at him, knowing that despite his word, Dean was going to do something stupid. 

The next morning, you were in a good mood even though you had a headache. At least the day would be lovely and maybe you would wake up tomorrow, ready to marry the love of your life. 

Being happy, you decided to make Dean happy. You dipped under the cover, managing to drag Dean’s boxer down. You then wished Dean a really good morning. 

A few hours later, after a good workout, the both of you went down to breakfast. You then proceeded to go gather information about where and when you could get married. You spent the morning arguing with Dean on where to get married, and that there was no way you were getting an Elvis impersonator to officiate your wedding. 

You wanted the beach, not a chapel, because the both of you knew God didn’t care. Dean didn’t care, he just liked to watch you when you were angry. Sometimes, he started a fight on purpose just to watch the colors rise in your cheeks and the fire in your eyes. Dean just couldn’t believe that you were with him. You were smart, funny and gorgeous. He was just a hunter who’d died too many times to remember. He was half-listening to what was going on and then missed the last part of the conversation. 

“De! Come on! Stop being difficult and tell me what you think about it!”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, I wasn’t listening. What were you saying?”

“We could get married today! On the beach, when the sun sets. Do you know how romantic that sounds? Think of the pictures!”

“I’ll be honest, I don’t care where or when we get married. As long as we do. I’ll do what you want. Tell me when to show up and I’ll be there.”

You smiled at him before kissing him lightly on the lips. 

“Do you mind if I go find Sammy? I need a new suit for today.”

“Sure, go ahead. We’ll finish here and I’ll text you when and where.”

He got up and bent down to kiss you on the head before slipping out of the building to find his brother. 

A few hours later, you were getting ready with Charlie. Your nerves were getting the best of you and you didn't know why. You loved Dean and Dean loved you. There was nothing to be nervous about. Charlie tried to calm you and it wasn’t working well. Castiel took that moment to show up in the room. 

“Hi, Cass! Thanks for being here. I know it means a lot to Dean.”

“Of course, Y/N. I’m glad that I could be here for the both of you. You look quite radiant today.”

“Thank you. Dean should be in our room or walking towards the beach right now.”

Just like that, he was gone. You were never going to get used to it. Castiel just disappeared into thin air. 

You put on your dress and shoes. Then you were ready to go. The moment you laid eyes on Dean, you forgot about everything. Your eyes shifted to the side and you saw your Mom, Jodie, and the girls. Dean had invited a few other people.  Benny, Garth, and a few other hunters you knew were there. You were touched to see that many people gathered for you and Dean's wedding, especially since it was last minute. You were so busy looking around you didn’t see the way Dean looked at you. 

He stared at you like he was looking at a cheeseburger or pie, like you were the greatest thing in the universe. 

You made your way to Dean, certain that love was radiating from your entire being. You only half-listened to what the minister were saying, your mind was stuck on Dean and how handsome he looked. Soon enough, the time for the vows were upon you. You went first: 

“On this day, I vow to love you for the rest of our life. With this ring, I give you my promise. From this day on, I will offer you all my love, so you won’t walk alone. Your love has always been my anchor. The trust that you give me is my strength. Let my heart provide you shelter and consider my arms as your home. This ring has no start or end, just like my love for you. As I place this ring on your finger, I give you all that I am, all that I have and all that I will be.”

You placed the ring on his finger and watched him beam with love. Then, it was his turn to say his vows. You knew Sam had helped him with those. Dean wasn’t the greatest at writing down his feelings.

“I, standing here in front of you and the people that we love, promise to always love you. I will always love you. Your love for me is like water. It’s shapeless and formless. It’s peaceful, yet strong. It’s all that I’ve ever needed in this life. You’re my heart. I promise to support you, through thick and thin. I also promise that if a zombie apocalypse happens, you can count on my sword. I can’t wait to start spending the rest of my life with you. Everything that I am and everything that I have will be yours, too.”

You knew you were crying but you didn’t care. It was one of the most romantic things he ever told you. It was sweet and romantic and made you fall in love with him all over again.

No one said anything against your union and you were then declared Husband and Wife. When the minister told Dean that he could kiss you, he did just that. Someone in the crowd whistled and people started to applaud.

You all went to dinner afterward. Dean couldn’t stop smiling or wouldn’t leave your side. It was a bit weird, seeing as Castiel and Benny weren’t eating and the rest of the group was loud and a bit weird. Charlie flirted with the waitress, most of the hunters compared scores, and Dean… Dean was whispering filthy things in your ears. 

You were happy, Dean was happy, and everyone else seems to be happy. Or at least the ones you could actually see. When Dean finally sat down on an actual chair, you didn’t have time to sit next to him, he grabbed you and sat you down on his lap. The two of you kissed and giggled like teenagers.It made everyone who watched you, smiled sweetly. For a hunter to be this happy, it was something like a miracle. 

You had so many questions for Dean but you didn’t have time to ask them. You ordered your food and your guests started the toasts. They were singing you and Dean’s praises, complimenting and congratulating you. Sam called you his sister, and it made you cry. Benny told everyone how loyal Dean was and how great of a friend you were and how great it was for him to have found someone as gentle and loyal as you. Everyone was drinking and eating. By the end of the night, everyone was in high spirits and left the restaurant happy and exhausted. 

You were exhausted but happy, wanting nothing more than to go to sleep. You hadn’t talked to your mom; everyone wanted to come talk to you. You hoped that she wasn’t offended by that or by what she might have heard. You couldn’t believe that you were married. You couldn’t believe that you weren’t dreaming all this. 

Before you could get inside the room, Dean picked you up bridal style and walked inside the room and went straight towards the bed. 

“Well, Mrs. Winchester, it’s just you and me right now.”

You smile widened at your new surname. It felt right, like you belonged. 

“Well,  _ husband _ , take me to bed and love me all night!”

The way he smiled at you, at his new title, made you blush. You spent the next two days in bed, only getting out to shower or eat. You still had a few days left for your honeymoon and you wanted to at least spend a day on the beach, hit the casinos, and maybe have a date night with your husband before going back to the bunker. 

The next few days were a blur, between Dean, who got restless after the third day of your honeymoon, and Sam, who was more than happy to indulge your need to do nothing, you didn’t know what to do. You chose to ignore both of them and went about your days. If you weren’t lounging on the beach, in a cute bikini, with Dean glaring at anyone who eyed you more than a second, you were in the casinos. Dean played poker and won money while you played blackjack or the slot machines. The last night of your vacation, Dean took you to a nice restaurant to celebrate the end of your honeymoon. You were having a great time and yet a part of you knew that he couldn’t wait to go back. 

Despite what everyone else might think, Dean was one of the most caring and loving men you’d ever met. Not many people could see that because he could be brash and put on a tough front. He always brought you back little trinkets from places they visited. The amount of times you’d watched him watch after his brother. You knew what happened, of course, but not in all the details. Dean didn’t like to talk about it much. Dean was always worrying about Sam even if he was a grown up man. It warmed your heart to know how much the brothers care for each other.

That night, when the two of you went to bed, you knew things were going to change, you felt like everything was going to be different. You were falling asleep on his chest when you heard him. He was telling you that everything was going to be fine, that nothing was ever going to happen to you, that even if it kills him, he was going to protect you. 

He always made promises when he thought you were asleep, to be sure that you wouldn’t hear them. To remind himself that even if you knew how much he loved you, he couldn’t let you know. Not entirely. He had dragged you into this life with him and knew that he would eventually pay the price for that choice. He should have left you alone, shouldn’t have gone back to ask you out, but you were hunting his every thought, every dreams. You were all he could think about and when he finally caved in… He couldn’t remember the last time he was this happy, couldn’t remember the last time someone made him feel so loved. You were loving him without conditions, you were accepting of his life and everything in it. You loved him for who he was and not who he could be and he loved you all the more for it.  

The next morning, you packed the bags while Dean went to check out. You didn’t know at the time that things were going to get complicated at the bunker. Didn’t know that everything was going to get worse. 

A few hours later, you were sleeping in the backseat of the Impala only to be startled awake by the Impala coming to a stop. You were stopping to get something to eat and put some gas in Baby. It didn’t take long and you all were back on the road towards home. 

The next morning, you arrived back home. You decided to unpack later and instead go get the mail at the post office and do a bit of grocery shopping. You also had to go and get your prescription for birth control. There was a bit of things to buy and since the boys were already back in research mode, you didn’t feel bad for stepping out. 

You were surprised by the amount of mail that arrived while you were gone. There were a lot of wedding gifts and cards. It touched you to know that so many people thought about Dean and you. There was a few packages for Sam and you knew that he would be happy about the birthday gift you got him. You finished shopping and by the time you came back to the bunker, the others were already gone. You couldn’t say you were surprised but it still hurt a bit. 

There was a note on your bed. Telling you that they would be gone for a few days at most and not to worry. You knew that being with Dean meant a lot of alone time and not enough time with him. You knew that it wouldn’t be easy making your relationship work but the two of you managed to do so for four years. Nothing was going to change just because you were married now. Why would you expect different? 

Over the next few days, you cleaned up the bunker and went back to work. The boys came back with Castiel and God, who preferred to be called Chuck. It turned out that Castiel wasn’t Castiel. It was Lucifer who now possessed Castiel. You were tired and cranky and didn’t feel like talking to your “guest” or anyone for that matter. You suddenly felt like you didn’t want to be there anymore, like it was too much. Dean hadn’t talked to you since he’d left, not even a small text to let you know he was still alive. You went to your bedroom, packed a bag, and contemplated what to do next. You didn’t have much to contemplate yet Dean found you.

“Y/N? Baby? What are you-“

His eyes went wide and you saw something. Something you had never seen before in his eyes. Fear. It was gone as soon as you noticed it. It hit you how little Dean was sharing with you, how in the four years together, he never shared too much. 

You knew he loved you. You knew that he trusted you but sometimes it wasn’t enough. Right at that moment, you wanted to cry and scream for him to just talk to you. Instead, you simply stayed there, looking at him and silently begging him to say something. 

“Where are you going?”

“I was… I thought...I was going to my mom’s for a few days. You know… until you figure out how to… kill Amara.”

You could see the anger in his eyes, but you didn’t know why. He was always the first one talking about getting you somewhere safe. 

“De… why… Is there a problem with that? Did… Do you want me to stay?” 

He didn’t answer you. He simply turned his back on you and left the bedroom. You followed him with your eyes before you muttered to yourself.

“Right… Not talking… Here I was… thinking that something was going to change after last week.” 

You were frustrated by the lack of reaction, tired of Dean not talking to you when it was important, tired of being helpless and doing nothing because Dean was an overprotective asshole. You were tired of living in fear every single day. You were simply tired of it all. 

The first tear fell without you noticing and before you knew it, you were sliding down against the wall, sobbing and wishing for something good to happen. No one came your way for a while and you laid there, crying, until Sam found you. 

“Y/N? Have you... What did he do this time?”

It took awhile, but you managed to calm down and explained the situation. Sam knew his brother and he knew how… protective he was of the ones he loved. “You know he loves you right? I mean… he’s just… afraid of losing you. I know that… he doesn't express himself much sometimes but just… tell him how you feel.I know that you guys had a great honeymoon and everything…  and I’m sure that he was way more open then. I’ve known him my entire life and I can assure you that he cares. You just have to be patient.”

You smiled sadly at him. You realized that, right now, the only thing you could do was to talk to Dean. Nothing was going to change if the two of you didn’t talk. You could put a good front when you had too and that was exactly what you were going to do, 

“I’m sorry you had to see that… It must be one of those days… I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me. I’ll just go to sleep and everything should be fine in the morning.”

He didn’t look entirely convinced but you put on a smile so he would leave you alone. Sam left a few minutes later, and you considered your choices. You didn’t want to leave him, so that was out of the equation. It left you with two other choices: Argue with him until something happened or do nothing. You could go back to ignoring  the way he treated you like you were made of porcelain or you could take matters into your own hand.

You decided to stay and argue. You were many things but you were not a pushover and Dean knew that. You went to take a shower and got ready for bed. 

When Dean came to bed, it was way past midnight and he wanted to cuddle. It wasn’t new but usually, he stayed angry longer than that.

“I’m sorry I’ve been a jerk today. I’m sorry I didn’t text you during our trip. I’m just afraid of losing you.”

That was new. Dean opening up to you of his own free will. At least he said he was sorry… and it wasn't like you could stay mad at him for very long.

“You won’t lose me, Dean… but… maybe… maybe we could talk more in the morning…”

“I’d like that… and maybe...since both of us are awake…”

You laughed at his attempt but quickly shut him down. He kissed and nipped your neck and you knew you were going to have a hickey the next morning.

“Oh no, I’m not having sex with you when you smell like a distillery, De! Just… hold me, okay? I need my husband’s arms around me and I need you to tell me that everything is going to be okay.”

He smiled against your neck and did just that. His arms around you, your head under his chin, he told you what you wanted to hear. 

“Everything is going to be fine, sweetheart. I still can’t believe that we’re married, you know? You calling me your husband… it seems surreal. I love you, Y/N. I am… to be able to call you my wife… it's just surreal.”

You smiled and kissed his chest before falling asleep. 

The next morning,you and Dean argued and screamed at each other. Sam was glad to be occupied somewhere else. You weren’t usually a screamer. If something wasn’t right, you usually hit him with a glare and it was enough. If you were screaming at Dean, then it meant that something was really, really wrong. Sam was damn glad to be busy with God and Lucifer, plus looking for clues about Amara. 

In the end, Sam saw Dean coming his way with his right hand on his cheek. 

“What happen?”

His brother grunted an answer that he was sure sounded like:

“My wife hit me.”

Sam wasn’t quite sure if he’d heard right so he made Dean repeat his answer. With a glare, Dean repeated his answer. 

“Y/N. She slapped me.”

Ah, so he did heard right.

“What did you say to earn a reaction like that? She’s usually quiet when angry.”

“I told her… I told her she never should have agreed to marry me. Then, she would be safe.”

“Yeah… that was stupid…”

A few weeks later, they found a way to kill Amara. Dean once again sacrificed himself for the greater good. You were tired and out of tears. You felt like you did nothing but cry those past few months. In between arguments and moments of peace, you and Dean always managed to get away for a few day, just to be alone without all the chaos around you. 

He said goodbye to everyone in his last moments. Sam barely held in his tears, clutching you to his side. There was some manly talk that you barely heard and you felt Sam let go. Dean wanted to talk to you. His last words to you:

“I love you. I’m sorry.”

When he kissed you for the last time that day, it felt… different. He was doing is best to stay calm and not panic. He was talking about funerals and giving Sam the Impala keys. Then, he was gone. Crowley came to your aid when he saw how you barely clung to Sam. He was the one who helped you into the car and sat with you at the bar. When the sun appeared, you didn’t go outside with the rest of them. You chose to keep on drinking straight from the bottle of Jack in your hands. 

You were happy that the end of the word wasn’t near but now… you were grieving the loss of your husband. At the end of the day, Rowena and Crowley helped you into bed. They booked an hotel room for you and left you alone. 

The next morning, you took a shower and decided to go back to the bunker. You had to call a cab since you didn’t know where you were and didn’t have a car. Once outside the bunker, you paid the driver and headed for the door. You could hear voices coming from the war room and went to investigate. Maybe Sam was talking on the phone or with Cas. The closer you got, the more distinctive the voices were. You could see a woman and Cas but surely you were dreaming… Dean couldn’t be there. 

“Dean?”

The voice stopped and Dean turned around. It took less than a second for him to realize that you were safe and unharmed. It took him less than that time to run across the room to hug and kiss you. 

“You’re alive… how? I thought…” 

“I never died… They apologize and forgive each other. Chuck fixed me and here I am! Come, I have to introduce you to someone.”

You saw Cas in the room with a blonde woman. Sam, however, wasn’t there with them.But, Dean seemed to know what was going on. 

“Y/N, I would like to introduce you to Mary Winchester, my mom. Mom, this is Y/N Winchester, my wife.”

Mary and you spoke at the same time.

“Your mom?”

“Your wife?”

You looked at Cas who didn’t know what was going on either. 

“Where’s Sam? I thought he came back…”

“We were working on this before you arrived.”

Knowing the answer already, you asked anyway. 

“Do you need my help?”

“Actually… I need you here. When we find him, I don’t know in what condition he is going to be. Do you think you could go on a supply run and get as many bandage and drugs you can find?”

The way he was looking at you, like he need you there, like anything could happen made you want to hug all his worries away.

“Of course, I’ll do that and grab something to eat at the same time. Go save your brother, I’ll be here when you return.”

It was an soft spoken promise you made, but he heard it anyway.

The next day, everything was on the table waiting for them to return. Dean barged in with Sam, Mary and Castiel. Sam looked tired but otherwise perfectly fine. Dean and Mary on the other hand looked like they took a beating.

“Dean, baby, are you alright? You look bloody…”

He snorted at that before answering you.

“I’d say that the other guy looks worse but that’d be a lie.”

“Come sit, the both of you. I’ll take care of cleaning you up a bit while Sam goes to sleep.”

With that, Sam decided that sleep was a good idea. Castiel kept you company while you took care of Dean and Mary. Your husband then explained to you everything that happened and who the bad guys of the month were. 

“So, let me get this straight… The British men of letters are the British version of what used to be here… and now they what? Want the bunker??”

It was Mary who answered you this time.

“They want the help of the American hunters… we still don’t know why.”

“Right… What exactly is your stand on this?”

Dean answered you, still angry. You could see that he needed an outlet to let his anger go. 

“No. Not after what they did to Sammy. There is no way that we’d associate with those bastards.”

You finished cleaning up Mary’s injuries and then moved to Dean’s. 

“Can you tell me how is it that every time I clean and bandage your injuries, I think they’re worse than the last time?”

Dean shot you a smirk and you rolled your eyes at him. You felt his hands on your hips, tugging you on his lap. 

“Let me clean you up before you decided to do something else!’

“But, I want you to sit on my lap!” 

You giggled and sat on his lap. You completely forgot that Mary and Cas were still there. There was only Dean and his wandering hands and lips. 

Over the course of the next few months, a lot happened. They found Lucifer and then lost him again. The British Men of letters got insistent. Lucifer possessed the president and impregnated a woman named Kelly Kline. Mary didn’t stay at the bunker and didn’t seem to like you very much. Dean though that it was because she didn’t know you But whenever you tried to get to know her, she shot you down or ignored you. It caused a lot of fights with Dean and sometimes Sam. They didn’t understand why you couldn’t try harder. They didn’t understand why you couldn’t be nicer to her, why you couldn’t be more like her. 

When it turned out that she needed time for herself and that she was working with the British men of letters, you didn’t say a word and just left the room to let them talk. You could understand, to a certain point, why they were like that. Mary was their mother after all. You just knew that Dean would need comfort and love and that Sam would need to process on his own. That if he needed it, he would seek you out. 

They went on a few hunts here and there but mostly concentrated on trying to find Kelly and Lucifer. The boys were barely home and you got lonely. The last time they were back at the bunker, it last barely an hour. You had time to pack Dean’s a new set of clothes while he was taking a shower. 

He took the time to kiss you before going back out again. It was a few weeks before you could spend more than two minutes together. Then he was home for a few days. The two of you spent a lot of time together and went out to dinner just the two of you. You knew that it wasn’t going to last. It never lasted.

They managed to locate Castiel who was with Kelly since they killed one of the princes of Hell. Dean had been hurt and angry. You did the best you could to cheer him up but sometimes sex and pie wasn’t enough. 

When they decided to go get Cas with Mary, Dean asked you to come with them. It made your heart flutter with joy. Of course, you went with them, if you could help in any way possible you would.

When you arrived, Kelly was in labor and you went to her, wishing you could help more. Mary was on the other side, ignoring you and helping the expectant mother. 

You went outside to see what was going on and saw Dean and Sam getting out of what looked like a rift. You gasped when you saw Castiel getting stab by an angel blade and Lucifer getting out of the rift. You saw Mary coming out of the house and you decided to go see Kelly and how far she was. When you entered the room, Kelly smiled at you before a bright blue light engulfed the room. It was the last thing you saw before you fainted. When you came to, you were on the backseat of the Impala, your head on Dean’s thigh. He stroked your hair while Sam drove. It was kind of surreal. 

**A few months later**

A lot happened in the past few months. Mary was in another world with Lucifer. Jack was a grown man instead of a baby like you were all expecting. He lived in the bunker with you and Dean wasn’t exactly happy with it. You didn’t care for the way your husband treated the innocent child that Jack clearly was.

Just because Lucifer was his dad didn’t mean that Jack was evil. He was nothing but a babe! In the next few years of his life, he would be influenced by those he was near. You weren’t his mother and you didn’t want to replace her. You just wanted to be there for him when he need. You wanted to be one of the good influences in his life. But with Dean getting in the way most of the time, it was hard. You were so proud of Jack when he start displaying his power. He was so naive, so innocent, that he didn’t understand how dangerous he could be. 

Dean, when he was home, did his best to distract you from Jack with great sex, mind blowing orgasms, and, sometimes, it worked. Then, the brothers were back on the road searching for a way to save their mother. Once, they didn’t give you any news for days while searching for Jack, who’d run away. It wasn’t like Dean to not send you a few dirty texts here and there. You were worried about the brothers and Jack. You were also worried because your period was late. While you weren’t always on time, you never skipped a month. Now, you realized that the last time you had your period was three months ago. 

You never really talked about children with Dean. While he was really good with them, you didn’t know if he wanted some of his own. You couldn’t worry about being pregnant right at this moment. You had to concentrate on finding your husband and his brother. Jody called you, telling you that she was searching for Dean and Sam and not to worry. She explained everything about Kaia and Patience, then proceeded to tell you about the rift and what might happen. She never once mentioned Jack and that made you worry, knowing that the search for Sam and Dean was in good hands. 

Castiel was nowhere to be seen, even your prayers didn’t seem to reach him. You went to the drug store and bought at least a dozen tests. You went to get some groceries and went back to the bunker. You peed on all the sticks and waited. You needed to be patient but it was hard. No one was around. You were afraid of what would happen next. What would happen if it turned out that you were pregnant? What would happen if the answer was negative? Did you really want kids in the crazy life that you were living? Did you want kids at all? Were you even able to carry children? You knew that your mother had difficulties carrying you to term. You were lost in your thoughts, so the ringtone of your phone startled you. Jody texted you, telling you that they were making progress on finding Dean and Sam.

Not knowing if they were alive made you feel weird. You didn’t like the feeling at all. Knowing that Jody would give you news whenever she could, make you feel a bit better. You went to check on the test and groaned when you saw the answers. They were all positive. You were pregnant. How the fuck were you going to tell the news to Dean?

First, you needed to book an appointment with a doctor. You weren’t even sure if you were happy or not. You were mostly shocked because you were certain that the both of you were always careful. You couldn’t think about that now. What was done was done, you couldn’t change the fact that something happened. 

A few days later, you went to see the doctors. Everything seemed to be fine and he prescribed some vitamins. You were finally excited by the news; the fact that you were carrying a new life inside you was one of those moments when you realize that life was weird sometimes. It was giving you one of the greatest news of your life and yet your husband wasn’t even around for you to tell him the news. It was one of those moments where you wished that Dean had a normal job and a normal life. Even if you knew that if it weren’t for his job the two of you wouldn’t have met.

Jody called and told you that the boys were fine and on their way home. At least that was some good news. Yet, Jack still wasn’t mentioned and you were starting to worry a lot more than before. When the boys came home a few hours later, you were relieved to see them alive, but worried because Jack wasn’t with them. They didn’t know where he was or if he was alive. All they knew was that when Kaia tried to help them get on the other world, something wrong happened. You tried to get Dean alone for a few minutes but he told you that you would talk later. He was trying to find a way to save his mother and to find Jack. There was also the mention of Asmodeus and Lucifer. You weren’t quite listening to what he was saying. You just turned your back and walked away. 

Dean had just come back and was already talking about going out again. You could understand; it was his mother after all. You just wished that he could invest as much time in your relationship like he was searching for… well, everything. You were used to it. Ever since the two of you got married, he took you for granted. Sure, he talked to you a bit more but most of the time he wasn’t even with you. 

You went back to your business, trying to hide the tears that fell. Sam saw them.He looked at his brother and wondered, not for the first time, how his brother could be so stupid when it came to his relationship. He didn’t understand why you were not getting angry more often. His thoughts were interrupted by Dean who told him to focus.

Over the course of the next few weeks, you lost track of the number of times you tried to tell Dean that you were pregnant. He never had time for you. He wasn’t even sleeping in the same bed as you, if he was sleeping at all. You did what you had to do and went to the doctor's office to see if everything was alright with the baby. You learned that you were at least 4 months pregnant, maybe 5. He scheduled a scan to see the sex of the baby. You gained a bit more weight but not enough, according to the doctor. You tried your best to tell your husband. 

Castiel knew; he kept your secret but he knew. Sam was suspicious and felt that something was wrong. But Dean… Dean didn’t seem to care anymore. He was focused on finding everyone and ignored the rest. It included you and everything that wasn’t hunting related. So, when the day of your scan arrived, Dean didn’t even know about it and you went alone. 

You were expecting twins. You cried in joy, wishing more than anything for Dean to be with you. The nurse gave you a picture of the scan, where you could see your babies. They were almost sure that you were expecting boys but weren’t 100% certain. 

You came back to the bunker, wanting to corner Dean and tell him. Even if you had to blurt it out in front of everyone. But, Sam and Dean were gone. A rift was opened and Rowena was sitting there, researching. She told you what happened.

The boys were in another world, trying to find and rescue their mom and Jack. Rowena was doing her best to keep the rift open. You were doing your best to keep her awake.

At last, something happened. People came out of the rift, both people you didn’t know and some you did. Jack was with them. You were relieved and happy to see him. He came by to hug you and knew something was different with you right away. You didn’t have time to talk; other people were in need of assistance and you went to help them. Dean and Sam still weren’t back and you got nervous. 

Then, Dean came through first and then Sam. You went to your husband and tried to hug him. But, he dodged your attempt by going in a different direction. Instead, you hugged Sam, happy that he was alive and that he didn’t seem to have any injuries. 

You went back to your room after greeting everyone. Dean still wasn’t talking to you and it broke your heart. Not knowing what caused the change in him, it hurt. And you didn’t know how to fix your marriage. Mostly, you were tired of all the secrets, the lies, and being ignored. There was this ache in your heart. You weren’t certain if it was because of what was happening or something else. Your appointment with the doctor was in two days so you’d talk to him about it. That night, Dean came to bed with you, he wanted to hold you in his arms. You didn’t had the strength to tell him no. You missed him too much. If he felt your tears on his chest, he didn’t said anything. That’s how you fell asleep, crying your heart out in the arms of your husband. 

The next morning, when you woke up, Dean wasn’t in bed anymore. He wasn’t in the bunker at all. You didn’t talk to anyone, just went about your business. There was nothing to eat anymore so you skipped breakfast and went straight to work. You hadn’t felt well all day but you pushed yourself to stay focused and work through the pain. You just wanted to go home and curl up in bed.

When you did get home, most of your stuff was by the door. Dean was waiting for you in the war room. He was sitting and writing something on a piece of paper. 

“De? What’s going on? Why are my things at the door?”

You watched him fidget with his wedding ring and you knew that whatever was going to come out of his mouth, it wasn’t going to be good news.

“I want a divorce.”

That certainly wasn’t what you were expecting. Tears gathered in your eyes before falling freely.

“Why?” 

What he said next was like a blade to your heart.

“I don’t love you anymore. I’ve been trying to stay away from you these last few weeks trying to decide what to do next. I believe that it’s the right decision. I’ve been trying to focus on what I was feeling for you, Y/N. I… I don’t love you anymore.”

Before you could utter a word, you felt something wet on your thigh along with pain in your stomach. You saw Dean’s eyes widen in horror. 

“Why- what… Y/N? Why are you bleeding so much?”

“I- NO! Dean…”

You couldn’t say anything else. You were overwhelm by the pain. It hurt so much and you couldn’t do anything but cry as you fell to the floor, your legs too weak to support you any longer. You heard Dean scream at Sam to go start the car and fast. Dean took you in his arms and ran towards the car as fast as he could. 

Sam drove while Dean tried his best to clean you up. He still didn’t know what was happening. 

Sam was pretty sure what was happening but didn’t dare talk. He knew why Dean was so distant, why you were hurting so much these last few weeks. His brother was an asshole but he only wanted to protect the most precious thing in his life. Dean was always afraid of losing you, always afraid that the bad guys would get to you. He thought that if he lied to you and avoided you, you’d leave on your own but he didn’t count on the fact that you were stubborn. 

When the three of you reached the hospital, Dean screamed for someone to help. He was feeling helpless and wished to be able to do something. A nurse helped him get you on a stretcher. When they took you away, Dean collapsed on a chair. Sam went to make some phone calls. 

For Dean, it seemed like hours until someone came to see him. A nurse came to get him so that he could be by your side. He still didn’t know what happened, but the sight of you laying there, made his heart twist. You looked like a ghost, Dean was doing his best not to cry but you could see a few tears falling. 

“What happened? Why…”

You did your best to smile at him but you didn’t have the energy. The doctor explained to him what happened.

“As you know, she was four months along in her pregnancy. Sometimes a miscarriage happens, especially when it’s the first time. There’s nothing you could have done to save the babies. She lost a lot of blood. We’re doing the best we can to treat her.”

He didn’t listen to the doctor after he heard you were pregnant. Nothing else mattered. 

“You were pregnant? Why didn’t you tell me?” 

The only sound that could be heard was the sound of your heart stopping. The doctors and nurses pushed Dean outside and tried in vain to wake her up. In the end, Dean watched the doctor declare you dead. 

Sam found his brother crying by Y/N’s body. He begged for her to come back to him, not to leave him alone. He told her how sorry he was, that he would explain everything if you would only open your eyes and smile at him. 

A few days later, Dean had arranged the funeral, Cas did his best looking after him. Jack cried most of the time and Sam did his best at the bunker with the people that was still there. 

Everyone said something nice and sweet. Y/N’s mom tried not to cry and thanked everyone who came. Dean was the last one to say something. 

“I’m sorry. I was so afraid of losing you that I didn’t see how much I hurt you. In the end it wasn’t a monster who took you away from me, it was me. I pushed you away and I killed you. The doctor told me you died of a broken heart. I couldn’t understand why you wouldn’t tell you were pregnant at first. Then I realized that you tried… I just wouldn’t listen. I’m sorry I lied to you during our last conversation. I told you I didn’t love you anymore.That was a lie. It hurt me more than you can think to say those words. I saw how much I hurt you and I wanted to take them back but I was trying to save you. I thought that by pushing you away, you would be safe from my crazy lifestyle. I’m sorry that you thought I didn’t love you anymore. The truth is… _ I always loved you and I always will. _ I would have loved our children. I would have cherished them. Like I should have done with you during all those months. There’s nothing I wouldn’t give to see you smile at me one more time. 

I guess, what I’m trying to say is… You were the brightest light in my life and I should have done more for you. Don’t think for one second that I won’t join you once my time is done. You and our babies. I love you and I’ll see you soon, my love.”

A few days later, Sam couldn’t find his brother in the bunker. He knew Dean was having a hard time processing the loss of his wife. Sam knew where he could find him but waited instead. 

Dean grieved the only way he knew: drinking until he passed out. This time, instead of a cheap motel room, Dean was at Y/N’s grave and drowning his sorrow, his pain in alcohol.

It didn’t take long to find Dean nor to convince him to come back with him. Sam’s heart was breaking for his big brother. For the first time in a long time, Sam didn’t know what to do. Dean tried to get up and failed so his brother went to help. For the first time in his entire life, Sam saw his big brother melt down and cry. He hugged him. They stayed like that for a few moments. Dean crying in the arms of his brother, begging for his wife to come back.

But she wouldn’t.

**The end**


End file.
